to cake or not to cake..that is the question

We are completely stuck about whether or not to have a "wedding" cake. On the one hand, we feel like we might be missing out on great cake-in-face photos but on the other, isn't the cake hype a little too wedding-ish (aka. for the bride). 

Paul suggested that we get a fruit cake, and mock the tradition. If more people liked fruit cake I would totally spring for it. Initially cake was on the "not" list, especially after i found gay cake toppers online for $ 400.00! Although, there is something charming and likable about those two little grooms perched up there...

according to www.cakechannel.com, the wedding cake history is as follows, 

'Certainly the Romans were not in the habit of baking elaborate or elegant wedding cakes with buttercream icing and custom wedding-cake toppers. Usually they used loaves of wheat bread. The loaf of bread was broken over the heads of the newlyweds to bring them luck and prosperity. Sometimes it was broken only over the bride’s head, usually by the groom.

The crumbs of wedding cake, that landed on the floor symbolized good luck and fertility for the bride and groom, and it was considered good luck for guests to eat the crumbs of "wedding cake". Single women scrambled for the grains to ensure their own betrothals.'

Paul will flip about this, because wheat bread is his favorite, and it has way less calories than wedding cake. i hope everyone is willing to eat our fertility crumbs off the sand...the website also mentions a change in tradition in the middle ages i was especially fond of. Apparently all the guest brought their own mini-cake, and they were stacked on top of each other. The bride and groom then had to try and kiss over the stack of mini-cakes.

with all that rich tradition, how will i ever sleep at night it we decide not to have one....

VENUE BOOKED!

So...the whole reason 'welding' talk began was because we visited Cave B Inn and Winery and totally fell in love. The people there were so welcoming to us, and happy to host our ceremony. However, upon visiting we discovered that there was not an appropriate room. They had a huge room, two small conference style rooms and a restaurant that didn't meet our aesthetic requirements...after much deliberation and a brief Groomzilla moment, we decided that we would have to compromise too much of our vision to have it there. If you get a chance to visit, its GORGEOUS, and the restaurant superb.

It's important for us to find a space, that met both of our very different tastes;   his more rustic and mine more modern.We knew we wanted to have over sized tables that seat 20-25, so the space has to be big. W

e also didn't want people to have to travel after the vows to dinner, and plan to serve wine before the vows so travel was not an option. 

How lucky we were to find the Sunday of Columbus day weekend open (no Saturdays until December :0()  at the Bathhouse at Golden Gardens in Ballard. Plus, how clever to have a gay wedding at a bathhouse...and it's right on the ocean. 

why a blog..

As we started the process of planning our ceremony, i was underwhelmed with resources online or otherwise for same-sex unions; we had no idea where to start. Obviously there is something liberating about not having any format to follow, but still where do you draw the line when choosing what wedding traditions are meaningful and which are too straight? we want our guests to understand the significance of our day, without looking like we are trying to have a wedding. 

The idea of blogging started because as I talked to people they kept saying, "are you having a cake?" "are you walking down an aisle?" etc. We as a couple tend to sneer at the majority of cheesy 'bride' stuff. No bride=no bride stuff. I thought, maybe there are ideas out there from real people who have done this...hopefully there are, because we need the help!

I found a great website www.weddingpaperdivas.com, were we can customize the text on our invites, but we were lost as to wording. We are paying for everything so we do not have to credit our parents. I ended up consulting Martha Stewart wedding magazine for formal verbage and found something that may work.